As I’ve been struggling with my own energy levels lately, I’ve been led to think a lot about the word lazy and how many women use it to shame themselves.
Not other people. Themselves.
“I know I should try harder.”
“I just haven’t got the discipline.”
“I’m tired all the time. It’s pathetic.”
“I’ve gained so much weight - I’ve let myself go.”
But every time I hear that language, whether from my clients, friends or in the mirror from myself, I feel a gentle anger, or frustration rising. Because I know that this isn’t the full story.
She’s not lazy.
She’s full.
Full of responsibility.
Full of expectation.
Full of other people’s needs.
Full of hormonal imbalance and emotional suppression and internalised pressure to keep it all looking shiny on the outside while she’s quietly breaking down inside.
I know because I’ve been there too.
There have been seasons of my life when I couldn’t figure out why I felt so heavy - in my body, my thoughts, my energy.
Why no diet or exercise routine ever seemed to work long-term. Why meditation felt like a chore, a tick-box rather than effective self-care. Why I felt sluggish, foggy, bloated, and like I was moving through treacle, even when I was “doing everything right.”
And slowly, I learned to ask a different question:
What am I carrying that my body is holding onto for me?
It’s Not Laziness. It’s Load.
When we reframe “lazy” as “overloaded,” the picture becomes clearer.
Your fatigue isn’t a flaw, it’s feedback.
Your resistance to doing more isn’t weakness, it’s wisdom.
Your body’s bloating, burnout or stubborn weight gain? Not a lack of effort, but a biological response to chronic depletion.
We’re not designed to be ON all the time but we live in a world that rewards burnout and shames rest.
So when your body says “no more”, it might not be whispering (because it’s tried that, and nobody listened) - it might be screaming:
With mood swings or brain fog
With period chaos or perimenopause upheaval
With night waking, food cravings, exhaustion by 3pm
With inflammation that makes your clothes feel tight no matter what you do
And yes, sometimes it shows up on the scales too.
When Emotional Load Becomes Physical Weight
Weight gain isn’t just about calories in vs. out. For many women, it’s about survival mode.
When your nervous system is in fight-or-flight, your cortisol rises, which tells your body to hold weight, not release it.
When your hormones are imbalanced, especially oestrogen, insulin, and progesterone, your metabolism shifts, your cravings change, your digestion slows, and your sleep becomes disrupted.
When your emotional load never gets discharged - the grief, the unspoken rage, the inherited patterns - your body stores it. It holds what you haven’t been able to process yet.
And suddenly, you're carrying more than just weight you're carrying shame about it too. And that can be the heaviest part of all. Because it becomes a cycle that’s incredibly difficult to break.
3 Gentle Ways to Start This Week
So, no you're not lazy. You're carrying more than your system was designed to hold.
If you're ready to break that cycle and start to shift that feeling of emotional, physical and energetic weight, here’s 3 gentle places to start. This week, try…
1. Reframing your “low energy” days
Next time you feel “off,” try reframing it to:
“I’m so lazy” ➡️ “My body’s asking for rest.”
“I’ve lost my motivation” ➡️ “I’m in a recalibration phase.
This isn’t lying to yourselfIt’s telling a fuller truth. It tells yourself that, yes, you may be struggling with your “shoulds” but there’s a reason, and that reason is not your fault but also temporary. It’s giving your body and your energy the space and care it needs to come back to itself.
2. Treat rest like strategy, not surrender
Rest doesn’t mean you’ve given up. It means you’re rebuilding.
The body heals in stillness. It reduces inflammation, loses bloating, balances hormones, resets cravings, regulates weight when it feels safe. So taking well-timed rest breaks, where you really shit off and calm your nervous system, you’re workman with your body in a beautiful strategic and aligned way.
You don’t earn rest. You’re designed for it.
3. Listen to the heaviness instead of fighting it
When those feelings of heaviness, shame, or tiredness start, ask your body:
“Where do I feel the most stuck or swollen?”
“What am I trying to hold in, hold back, or hold up?”
“What might shift if I allowed myself to let go, just a little?”
Let your body speak. She’s been trying to get your attention for a while.
You Don’t Have to Carry It All Anymore
I know how heavy life can feel, not just physically but mentally, emotionally, spiritually.
I’ve lived in bodies that felt foreign to me.
I’ve punished myself with routines I couldn’t maintain.
I’ve fought myself trying to “get back on track” when in truth, I was on the wrong track altogether.
And although I’ve learned that you can’t hate, hustle, or restrict your way into healing, it’s still something that I don’t find easy. Especially as I enter this perimenopause phase and my endo starts to grumble.
Remember this -you can only listen, honour, and gently return to yourself. And if, sometimes, you forget or simply don’t - that’s OK. No shame. Just gently bring yourself back to you and what to need whenever you can.
If You're Ready to Feel Lighter In Every Way...
The Lighter Way Collective is where we do this together.
Not through punishment or perfection.
But through compassion, connection, and nervous system-safe healing.
It’s for you if:
You’ve struggled to lose weight and want to do it without shame
You feel inflamed, bloated, burned out and want to feel calm, clear and connected again
You want to gently understand what your heaviness (and other symptoms) might be trying to tell you
You’re ready to let go of the story that you’re lazy, broken, or not disciplined enough
We start again in October and I’d love to hold space for you.
Come as you are. Leave feeling lighter - in body, mind and soul.
💛 Join The Lighter Way Collective here
Because you were never lazy.
You were just carrying too much.
Let’s lay some of it down, together.
